Why Do We Keep Dyeing Our Hair? The Going Grey Dilemma for Women.

By Mel - 0 min read

You may have asked yourself, why do I keep dyeing my hair, is my natural silver hair really that bad?  It's the ongoing dilemma that many women find themselves in as their hair appears lighter and lighter at the roots.

So, why do we, as women, keep dyeing our hair? Do you find yourself in the going grey dilemma? If you do, then this article is for you.  You will be joining a host of other women who find themselves in this ongoing quandary as their hair appears lighter and lighter at the roots. So, are you thinking about letting your hair go grey? Why is it still such an issue for many women? What is society’s viewpoint on the issue of grey hair on women?

Although things are moving in the right direction in that more and more women are choosing to rebel and finding that embracing their grey hair has been the most empowering decision they have ever made. However, we can’t deny that there is still some prejudice towards the idea of women letting their hair go grey. So, how can we help change that current perspective? I’d like to explore this together…..

Below are the stages I personally went to from my last hair dye to long natural grey hair and I LOVE my natural hair colour and have never regretted the effort it took to grow it out.

So are you thinking about letting your hair go grey? You may or may not be feeling anxious, unsure or maybe not, perhaps you are more than ready. Either way, let’s look at the messages still being ‘put out there’ in society. Can women themselves change this message collectively? How can we empower more women to consider embracing their greys!

If you don’t know me and it’s your first time reading one of my blogs, then please allow me to give you a little background on me!

My story in a nutshell….

I started my journey to my natural hair as I was leading up to my 40th birthday, back in 2016. My hair was suffering very badly, as a result of excess heat and regular hair dying. So often in the end that it was days not weeks before I was reaching for the box dye to cover my re- growth.

I became so bored and fed up with the constant battle with my hair, that I started my journey to grey. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. So much so, that I blog about it and share this message, that indeed, for women, letting the grey come in, does not mean that you have ‘let yourself go’. On the contrary. I feel more confident, and content with myself than I ever have!!

Would you let your hair go grey? Why Do We Keep Dyeing Our Hair? Let’s Explore this…..

I want to start off by sharing the messages I have heard over the years before, during and after I let my hair go grey;

Grey hair will make you look older;

I need to cover my greys as soon as they peek through;

Natural Grey Hair suits that person but it definitely won’t suit me.

That woman with grey hair has beautiful hair; aren’t they lucky. My natural colour won’t look like that.

Grey hair only looks good on younger people.

Grey hair only suits people with cool toned skin.

I guess if I am completely honest, I believed most of these at one time or other. It took it was the time in which I was so fed up with myself and at rock bottom, that I questioned everything I believed about how grey hair looked on others and how it may potentially look on me!

Whilst I am no sex symbol by any stretch. It is still important for me to feel good about myself. Could having grey hair still make me feel attractive and attractive?

This was the pivotal point where I started to question my thoughts on grey hair and I soon came to realise with the help of some women on Pinterest who were already transitioning or rocking their grey hair, that yes, indeed, grey hair can be sexy. We can so easily go along with collectively prejudices (because we all have them), without ever questioning them.

I realised quite quickly that grey hair is just that- grey hair- another hair colour choice.. simple!!! Why complicate it?

Please let me add that if you choose to keep dyeing your hair and feel that is best for you.. then that’s amazing. We must always respect each other’s decisions to do what’s right for ourselves without judgement.

However, saying that, women should never believe that the other choice isn’t there and isn’t a good one! It is and it will be waiting for us all our lives, whether we ever embrace it or not!!! Obviously there is the odd exception in respect to those who never go grey or only have the odd grey strand, although this is rare after the age of 40.

Society, please don’t tell women that grey hair isn’t attractive!!!!! It is when it is embraced and looked after and is worn with confidence.

When we question old outdated beliefs then things start to change.This world is aching for change right? Let’s start to question everything we have come to believe in and always choose the most loving and accepting way.

If you are new to my blog then please do consider subscribing to the newsletter here.  See you there!

Mel ✨


Disclosure: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a small commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

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4 thoughts on "Why Do We Keep Dyeing Our Hair? The Going Grey Dilemma for Women."

  1. Hi Mel.
    I decided to embrace my natural hair about 3 years ago at age 47. I was fed up with ‘needing’ to dye my roots every couple of weeks. I was shocked and cross with myself when it dawned on me that I felt ashamed of the grey coming through, and decided it was time for some self acceptance and to fly in the face of my fears and societal norms. It’s the best decision ever. I feel better about myself now I’m no longer ‘hiding’, not to mention time and money saved from sitting in the hairdresser chair (sorry – not sorry!). I have had more compliments on my hair now it’s multi toned/silver streaked/unique than I ever received when it was dyed. I feel good that a few of my friends have thought my choice and my results good enough to give the silver strands a go for themselves. Grey hair is nof for everyone, but yes it IS a choice! To each their own – whatever makes you happy. X

    1. Exactly Sam. Your story is similar to mine. It’s such a good feeling to know we inspire other women to give it a try through our personal experience. Women deserve to feel that they can make that choice freely without feeling shame about the fact that their hair is grey. After all, it’s just another hair colour right? Thanks so much for your comment 💗

  2. Mel! I love your posts and my story is similar but I really began letting my grey show in 2019! When a family member was extremely ill and had to be hospitalized. In that moment I realized and something clicked in me, I cannot focus on my hair right now, I have to make some changes and so that’s what I did! And we, me and my sister did it together. She was so ill with an undiagnosed gut issue, that she couldn’t die her hair either. We both went grey young, her when she was 18 and me when I was about 24. The truth is , it is one of the best decisions I ever made!!!! And I don’t care what others think anymore. Not about hair at-least lol! But I have to tell you, I get a lot of compliments from all ages and all sexes. And it’s because I am happier , I am letting my light shine, not matter how little. Silver hair is so beautiful and I am so grateful I found a community for women who support this great and scary decision to LET OUR REAL HAIR COLOR show! Thank you, Cynthia F.

    1. Hi Cynthia, what a wonderful story! I love the community of women who encourage and support one another and like you, it was one of the best decision I ever made. Funny how it takes us to a point where we are ‘forced’ to make the decision only to realise that actually it wasn’t that scary after all. Only liberating! Mel x

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About the author

I’m Mel and the author of Silver Styling. I help women over 40 find calm and confidence by encouraging a holistic approach to beauty.

I am a professionally trained freelance makeup artist, session hair stylist and beauty author, based in London.  You can find more about me here.

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